After you break off the sexual benefits component of a friends with benefits relationship, how do you know when it’s time to resume the friendship part of the deal? Jumping directly from a casual sexual relationship into a platonic friendship can be difficult, if not impossible. Every big transition in life, especially those that are likely to be emotionally charged, takes time. Some people find that they are never able to make the jump, but if both people value the friendship, it is totally doable when the timing’s right. You will know the timing is right when neither one of you harbors any anger or resentment, and if both of you are in agreement that you don’t want to rekindle the erotic component of what you had. Be patient, and if a friendship between the two of you is meant to be, it will happen.
When do You Approach Your Ex Sex Buddy about the Possibility of Friendship?
The right timing for resuming a friendship after you break it off with your sex buddy is dependent on many factors. Its good to take some time to familiarize yourself about the ins and outs of these type of relationships. The three major components to take into consideration are how long you were sexually involved, the reason for ending the sexual part of your relationship, and whether or not there are any hard feelings. Sex buddy arrangements that were short lived, ended due to mutual agreement, and on friendly terms can generally turn into friendship after just a few weeks of letting things rest. On the other hand, if you were sexually intimate for a long time, or if your sex buddy was angry or had hurt feelings about the dissolution of your arrangement, you’ll probably want to give her a few months before you try to talk with her about the possibility of being friends.
What do you Say?
When you decide that the time is right to approach your ex sex bud about moving on to being just buds, the best thing you can possibly say is exactly what you mean. If the sex just wasn’t doing it for you anymore, but you really miss her sense of humor or intelligent banter, tell her. It’s totally possible to value someone’s personality and friendship long after the spark is gone. Just be careful with your wording so you don’t give her the wrong idea about what you’re looking for. If she thinks you’re trying to get back into bed with her, you might end up making things worse instead of better.
Were You Friends Before the Fling?
If you were friends with your fling before you developed a sexual relationship, it makes sense that you might miss it and want to reestablish the friendship later. A site that really helped me is www.flingmanual.com If you weren’t friends before, did you really establish enough of a friendship during your fling to make it worthwhile to try to maintain it now that the sex is over? Sometimes it happens that way, and if so, that’s cool. Just be sure that your desire to keep a friendship going with the person you had a fling with stems from the right motivation. If you genuinely like her as a person, you’re on the right track to potentially have a great friendship. On the other hand, if you are still harboring sexual desire for her, are just bored or lonely and looking for someone to fill your time, or have any sort of jealousy or hang-ups about her moving on to a new sex buddy, it’s never going to work.
Do Friends with Benefits Ever Really Work Out as Just Friends?
If you’re wondering if sex buddies ever truly go on to have good friendships, the answer is yes. In fact, your chances of evolving what you had into a solid friendship are far better than the odds for people who were in emotionally involved romantic relationships who try to become friends after a breakup. ( Read more) If you were truly just friends who had sex, it shouldn’t be that hard to bridge the gap between that and a hands-off friendship unless there was some sort of ugly fight. The only time friendships aren’t an option after a friends with benefits situation draws to an end tend to be in those situations where one person falls in love with their sex buddy and the feelings aren’t reciprocal. Assuming this isn’t the case, there is no reason you can’t end up being great friends. Just remember that friendship, like any other type of relationship, requires reciprocity and a mutual desire to make it work. Keep in mind that she might not be feeling the same way about you. If she isn’t into the idea, you’ll need to let it go and find other people to pal around with.